2014 Prayer Calendar - January

January 2014 - Family & Marriage

(Written by Dennis Outred, Marriage Week)

Preface

"And so, dear brothers and sisters, I plead with you to give your bodies to God because of all He has done for you. Let them be a living and holy sacrifice - the kind He will find acceptable. This is truly the way to worship Him. Don't copy the behaviour and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God's will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect." [Rom 12:1-2 NLT]

Some Facts

In the natural we all are the product of a 'mother' and a 'father' and therefore have family.

In 2011 our total population was 21.5m of which there were 17.36m aged 15 and over; there were 8.46m people in a registered married relationship; total number of "Families (ABS definition – see below)" were 6.4m. Over 60% of population claimed they were Christian. [2011 Census QuickStats - ABS]

Overview

The entity and status of marriage is under continued attack, so also are individual families and marriages whether in the wider community or in the Church.

We do have the resources to overcome and take the victory in His name.

Defining "Family"

Family is the leading influence in shaping a person, since it will determine an individual's spiritual, emotional, social, and physical life. A healthy family background fosters greater productivity and personal well-being. The transformation of the family will transform communities, cities and nations. Therefore, we covenant to promote, teach, and demonstrate the wholesome family under God as described in Ephesians 5:22-6:4. [Transformation Covenant – Transform World]

The "family" is 'a vital cell of society having an essential social function' [Pope Benedict XVI, World Meeting of Families, Mexico 2009] and as such the health of the family has an impact throughout every domain.

We live in a time where family is under direct attack whether the individual family is part of the body of Christ or not.

The Bible defines "family" in a narrow sense as the union of one man and one woman in matrimony which is normally blessed with one or several natural or adopted children. In a broad sense, this family also includes any other persons related by blood (the extended family). [Family Research Council]

The ABS has an even broader definition: "a family is a group of two or more people that are related by blood, marriage (registered or de facto), adoption, step or fostering, and who usually live together in the same household." It then goes on to list the inclusions.

What is marriage?

The union between one man and one woman in marriage for life is the first and only institution God established before the fall. Marriage is the most fundamental unit of a family, the church, and a nation (Gen. 1:27-28, 2:21-24). [Transformation Covenant – Transform World]

At the Dads4Kids National Marriage & Family Conference 2011 Bishop Peter Elliott of Melbourne addressed the question "What is Marriage?" and the video can be viewed/downloaded from the Marriage Week web site - http://marriageweek.org.au/front/whatismarriage.php this could be used to promote discussion/teaching within any group.

Husband & Wife, their marriage, is the foundational human unit to the family and a readable exposition on Marriage and Family can be found through the Family Research Council: http://www.frc.org/brochure/the-bibles-teaching-on-marriage-and-family - there is a downloadable pdf that you can use in your area of influence.

Whilst in this area, we often hear in our media and through our politicians about "Human Rights": the 1948 Universal Declaration of Human Rights, adopted by the General Assembly of the UN, states that "men and women of full age, without any limitation due to race, nationality or religion, have the right to marry and to found a family ... The family is the natural and fundamental group unit of society and is entitled to protection by society and the State." (Article 16.1, 16.3)

Under Attack

Family and marriage are under greater attack than ever and regrettably it is we men who need to shoulder a good part of the responsibility! The last promise, the last verse of the Old Testament, Malachi 4:6 promises that Elijah will come and "turn the hearts of the fathers to the children, and the hearts of the children to their fathers."

First the love between husband and wife, and then the love among the family members is the glue that holds everything together. Without love, family cannot really exist. Where a man does not undertake his role as husband and father the family unit is eroded and the absence or abuse of a father has a highly damaging effect leading to a broken family unit.

Bill Muehlenberg, apologist, ethicist and author from Melbourne, highlights this in Culture Watch 25 June 2013:

Over five decades of social science research have told us just how bad things are for children when the father is absent. By every social indicator, children fare far worse when deprived of their biological dads. Whether we talk about educational performance, drug use, criminal activity or suicide rates, all these problems are compounded when children grow up without fathers.
Of course as with anything, there can be exceptions here. But exceptions do not make the rule. As David Blankenhorn once put it "Unless we reverse the trend of fatherlessness, no other set of accomplishments – not economic growth or prison construction or welfare reform or better schools – will succeed in arresting the decline of child well-being and the spread of male violence. To tolerate the trend of fatherlessness is to accept the inevitability of continued societal recession."

More here - www.billmuehlenberg.com/2013/06/25/father-absence

One of the best ways to learn about the harmful effects of fatherlessness is to simply talk to the children themselves. They back up what all the research and evidence tell us. A recent documentary called 'Absent' by American journalist and director Justin Hunt does just this. You can see a short clip of the film here: www.absentmovie.com

“But know this that in the last days perilous times will come. For men will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy, unloving, unforgiving, slanderers, without self-control, brutal, despisers of good, traitors, headstrong, haughty, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God.” [2 Timothy 3:1-4]

We all may see children’s behaviour that regrettably is in alignment with the italicized words!

Men and women should not be at 'war', particularly within family and marriage. As Pope Benedict XVI put it, 'In Christ the rivalry, enmity and violence which disfigured the relationship between men and women can be overcome and have been overcome.'

'Ultimately it is only the Holy Spirit who can bring about the transformation of society. It is the Holy Spirit who brings unity, breaking down the divisions of gender, race and social position. Those indwelt by the Holy Spirit should be at the forefront of the fight...'

Jesus' conversation with the Samaritan woman was all about the Holy Spirit. He says to her, 'All who drink this water will be thirsty again, but those who drink the water I give them will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give them will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life' (v.13–14).

The transformation of society starts with the Holy Spirit transforming our lives. It starts with drinking the water of life, which Jesus gives to everyone who believes in him. When the Holy Spirit comes to live within us he becomes a permanent spring of overflowing water throughout our lives and into eternity.

We are transformed by the Holy Spirit and by our personal relationship with God. The word used for 'worship' here means 'to go down on our knees, to draw close in an intimate relationship of love' - we 'must worship in spirit and in truth' (v.24).

Lord, help us to worship you in spirit and in truth. Today, Jesus, I come to you and drink. Please fill me with this spring of water welling up into eternal life.

May this water flow out of our hearts and transform all our relationships – in our families, with our neighbours and in our communities. May we succeed in the breakdown of every division of gender and race, colour and ethnicity. May we welcome everyone into our communities regardless of gender, race or social position.’ (Extracts from an article by Nicky Gumbel - Alpha)

Prayer

As previously said, the intact family unit is crucial for the stability and health of society, and for the raising of children. Originally the family unit consisted of a man married to a woman having and raising their own biological children. We acknowledge that there are family units without children or with adopted children; as well as single parent families and families where the unmarried parents of the children in those families are in a stable, long term relationship, which are raising happy, healthy children. Marriage is not a right to be granted by the State.

• Thank the Lord for families.
• "As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord." (Joshua 24:15)
  The Gospel at home transforming families.
• The value of the uniqueness of the bonding of a man to a woman into that unique relationship that is marriage to be understood and supported.
• The family is the greatest welfare system and should be nurtured & Christian family values protected.
• Forgiveness of hurts that have occurred in a couple’s marriage relationship and a family's. "be kind one to another, tender-hearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake has forgiven you." (Ephesians 4:32)
• Coping with times of separation in a godly manner; effective accountability and marriage nurturing strategies.
• Christian marriages in which wilfulness rules in place of sacrifice, make a laughing stock of the whole church - couples are to set a pattern for mutual love & submission. "Let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband." (Ephesians 5:33)
• "Honour your father and mother" (Deuteronomy 5:16)
• Fathers are an important part of marriage. Often poor education performance, drug use, criminal acts and suicide are associated with absent fathers and family breakdown in the form of divorce or separation.
• The addictive nature of Internet pornography and on-line chat rooms takes a huge toll on marriage and family relationships.
• That the Christian Church would unite to promote the Christian ministry material available to nurture and promote healthy relationships in marriage and family, and couples would be led to take advantage of it.

"Live joyfully with the wife whom you love all the days of your vain life which He has given you under the sun, all your days of vanity; for that is your portion in life, and in the labour which you perform under the sun." [Ecclesiastes 9:9]

Daily prayer for the Governments and Justice systems in our nation is needed and we 'legislate' in the spirit realm, even when wrong people are in office. Be encouraged by the intercession of Esther which resulted in Ahasuerus, who was considered an evil man, making righteous decrees to the benefit of God's people.

Local Action

Firstly recognising that none of us have perfect marriages and that we all have different experiences that we can share and act as mentors to others and together we can make a difference.

Within the church talk on marriage to young and old alike. Honour marriage in the church eg wedding anniversaries and participate in Marriage Week. Whilst scripture is our source there are many scripturally based resources to use in different circumstances eg:

• Courses
  • The Marriage Preparation Course and The Marriage Course (RelationshipCentral)
  • Prepare/Enrich or the items through FOCCUS
  • Weekend retreats eg by WWME or FamilyLife Australia
  • Drug proof your kids and many others from Focus on the Family Australia
• Books for reading and use in discussion groups:
  • ‘The Heart of Marriage’ – Michael Hill
  • ‘Maybe I do’ – Kevin Andrews
  • Marriage as God Intended – Selwyn Hughes
  • Sexegis –An Evangelical Response to Five Uneasy Pieces on Homosexuality
  • The Parenting Book – Nicky & Sila Lee

Every church in Sydney, in this nation needs to give serious attention to establishing a top notch marriage ministry. Why? Because apart from anything else the local Church is likely to sink or swim depending how healthy its marriages are. Marriage is crucial to a church's growth and outreach programming. If a church is focused on evangelism they should discover that marriage is a great portal for evangelism.

We hear from marriage focused ministries that unchurched couples in a community will enter the doors of a church for a marriage seminar when they won't come to church for any other reason.

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